Thursday, March 22, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Retainer Not Fitting Like It Used To, Nervous Woman Reports

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

After a week of forgetting to wear her retainer, area woman Mary Shepherd frantically reported that it’s not fitting like it usually does. “I really have to wiggle it around and push up on it to get it to fit now,” said Shepherd, quickly opening and closing her mouth in the bathroom mirror to check for any signs of shifting. “I know teeth shouldn’t move this fast but I really think I can already see little gaps forming. And my teeth were super sore when I woke up this morning. All that money for braces and all the years of wearing this retainer every night down the drain.” At press time, Shepherd was just jamming it on to her teeth and hoping for the best.

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