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Alice Brett ’16, a tour guide who likes to show prospective students “the real Brown experience,” essentially only mentions places where she likes to hang out in her free time.
“See that beautiful, Georgian-style academic building? That bench in front of it is where I chill every Tuesday after class,” Brett said as she passed Wilson Hall. “Without fail, at 3 p.m. every week after Geo lecture, Jimmy and I will sit out on that wooden bench and shoot the breeze, usually discussing metaphysics or why Wilco is such a spectacular band. Prospies, if you get accepted and go to Brown, I highly recommend socializing at this bench.”
Brett digressed from virtually every topic a tour guide should actually talk about. The guided high school students and parents were told in comprehensive detail about the night she tripped acid with her friends and shared profound revelations as they climbed the roof of the anthropology department building. However, the families did not even hear the term “Open Curriculum” once.
“She brought us to this building with a sign that said ‘Physics Laboratory’ and I was excited to hear about the scientific research opportunities here,” said prospective student Mark Jones. “Instead, she told us about this counter-protest she attended in front of the building while pre-gaming with her friends before heading to a party.”
Jones added, “Do students ever go to class here?”
Brett continued her tour, “Next up is Faunce House, a multi-purpose building that serves as the campus student center, but most importantly it is where Chloe and I grab coffee every time it snows.”
Nearing the tour’s climax, Brett pointed out her all-time favorite hang out spot. “This patch of grass on Simmons quad, about 40 feet from Caswell’s entrance, is the perfect location to lay back with friends any day. In both the best of times and the worst of times, this is my true home at Brown. This is where I read Hemingway’s ‘The Old Man and the Sea’ in one sitting, and where Bill smoked pot for the first time. This is where I bask in the motley fall foliage, and where I gaze at the stars after Spring Weekend performances.”
At the tour’s conclusion, as prospective parents asked directions back to the admissions office, Brett pointed out a “super dope” detour that passes by her favorite Thursday night kickback spot.
