Partly Cloudy, 64°
Last night, it became increasingly evident that your studying would not dissuade your roommate’s attempt at masturbation.
“Oh, you’ve got a midterm tomorrow? Good luck!” said your roommate Antonio Glebbins, tissue box in hand as he began to unbutton his pants. “Don’t mind me, I’ll try to be quiet. Just gonna do my own thing over here!”
“Actually, do you think you could do that in the library?” asked Glebbins, noting that his activity of choice couldn’t be so easily relocated. “If not, all good! I’m hard to distract when I’m in the zone.”
“I’m sorry man, but this is really urgent. I can’t really put it off,” told Glebbins, switching his browser into Incognito Mode. “There’s plenty of room in this forced double for both of us to do our own thing.”
At press time, your professor wasn’t going to let your medical emergency get in the way of his incomplete grade on your final.
