Sunday, May 19, 2024
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

Roommate Not Home Yet Probably Just At Library Studying Late But Also Maybe Abducted On Walk Home And Now Victim To Underground Sex Trafficking Ring

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Sitting in bed at 1:37 AM, sophomore Olivia Levy-Powell has reasoned that her roommate Casey O’Donoghue is most likely doing some late-night homework at the Sci Li but also maybe has been abducted on her walk home by an underground sex trafficking ring.

“Casey mentioned that she has a huge paper due tomorrow, so she’s probably just pulling an all-nighter at the Sci Li,” said Levy-Powell, trying to figure out where her roommate could be at such an hour. “However, it’s also possible that, while Casey was walking home, a group of men abducted her, sold her into sex slavery, and now exploit her body for financial gain. It could really be either.”

“While Casey does have a history of staying up late, especially when she needs to finish an essay, I just can’t rule out the possibility of an underground sex trafficking ring holding her hostage right now,” added Levy-Powell, pondering the late-night whereabouts of her roommate. “You know what? I’ll just text her to make sure she’s doing alright.”

At press time, Levy-Powell was wondering if the three missed calls from her father were because he couldn’t figure out how to make a purchase on Amazon or because her dog had been put down after a rogue rabid squirrel bit him on a routine walk around the neighborhood.

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…