Keeney resident Brian Olsen ’15 unknowingly blew his chances at enjoying his first year away from home when he threw away his roommate’s garbage. “I was taking mine out anyways,” said Olsen, who soon received the nickname “Trash Bitch.” “I figured that Connor would want his stuff taken out too.” A banana peel, an empty Urban Outfitters bag, and his own prospects of ever attaining his roommate’s respect were a few of the items that Olsen dumped into his dorm’s shared waste receptacle. “My mom taught me if you find an easy opportunity to do somebody a favor, just do it – there’s no reason why you shouldn’t!” said a dead-wrong Olsen. “By the way, if anybody needs any groceries, let me know. I’m making a trip to Whole Foods this afternoon.” Olsen later affirmed his subservience to every member of his hall by picking up two empty beer cans left outside his door.

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