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In a surprise move, Santa Claus has announced that the North Pole will officially stop giving coal to naughty children starting with the 2022 holiday season.
"We at the North Pole take the ongoing climate crisis extremely seriously," said Santa Claus in a stirring speech, "and we vow to cut our carbon emissions by supplying children on the naughty list renewable, sustainable sources of energy like solar panels rather than coal."
The Santa Claus regime has long been a target of criticism by climate activists, which has long maintained that their extensive carbon emissions were a price worth paying in order to "ensure the longevity and continued prosperity of the Christmas Spirit." Mr. Claus himself has been pictured with Russian and American oil magnates, contracting oil drillers to drill in the Arctic and using coal to power his extensive chain of toy and gift factories. An infamous email leak in 2018 revealed that many high-ranking elves view the country's transition from magic, which has powered Christmas production since the country's inception, to fossil fuels has been "disastrous for the environment" and that Mr. Claus "actively exploits childhood nostalgia to prevent further scrutiny into climate malpractice."
However, recent years have seen the rapid retreat of the Arctic ice shelf, leaving the Claus regime little choice but to seek out renewable sources of energy. The recent announcement comes with the second phase of Santa's modernization efforts, including a shift away from toy, lottery ticket, and coal production to video games, cryptocurrency, and online retail.
Santa Claus has continued to maintain that he will maintain stable Christmas cheer production while remaining on target to reduce warming to two degrees but declined to comment when pressed about his recent Elf union-busting efforts.
