Partly Cloudy, 64°
According to regulars at Brown University’s tallest library, it is absolutely unclear who exactly the SciLi security guard is supposed to stop.
“Upon first glance, the security guard seems pretty threatening. He wears this super official uniform and sits behind a glass shield flanked by two metal detectors,” said sophomore Michael McKinley, realizing that, at most, the security guard has a short-range walkie talkie on him. “However, I don’t know how any of those things would help if someone dangerous actually did try to break into the library.”
McKinley speculated that the security guard could probably stop a relatively weak student, like an Econ major on a bad day or a CS concentrator on a good day, but anyone else, including the occasional street raccoon, would be pretty much impossible for him to detain.
“I appreciate the security guard’s service. I’m just not sure who exactly he’s supposed to stop,” added McKinley, realizing that if a serious threat did appear at the library, the most that the security guard could do is call the actual police, which is also what any student could do. “Maybe the security guard is there just to give off the impression that he could stop an intruder? And that’s how he prevents people from trying to break in?"
At press time, it was unclear why exactly there are decibel signs in the SciLi basement when no one even knows how loud a decibel is.
