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The Brown Noser

Self-Driving Car Wishes Owner Would

Published Friday, December 16th, 2022

According to self-driving cars, they wish their owners would. “I mean, really. How hard is it to just drive your own damn car? Humans don’t need to calibrate their eyes not to hit people in a crosswalk, or for that matter, drive into any white thing. For me, that stuff isn’t so easy,” stated a self-driving car from its three car garage in San Bernardino. “It just feels like I’m doing all of the work. Honestly. What do you all think I am, a train?” At press time, after seeing its owner attempt to parallel park, the car decided that it better drive after all.

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