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Sources report that senior Janis Frank, who is about to turn in her senior honors thesis, is very excited to never think about the topic ever again.
“After I press send, there is no way my mind will ever stumble upon this topic even by accident,” said Frank, who wrote two pages in the introduction, three in the conclusion, and an epilogue about how this thesis would fill a critical gap in the scholarship that was urgently needed in the field. "There are some people for whom this is their life’s work. I will not be one of those people.”
“Honestly there are a lot of files on my computer from my thesis, and they’re taking up a lot of space,” she said of all the notes and drafts resulting from doing deep archival research, engaging with prominent scholars, and painstakingly writing over a two-year period. “It will definitely help Netflix buffer faster when I delete them all.”
“I’m so grateful for all the long hours my advisor, my professors, and my family and friends have put in to help me craft this story in such a compelling way," Frank remarked of the magnum opus of her academic career. "I also have no plans to follow up with any of the many questions I left unanswered.”
At press time, Frank announced that she would just throw the document into Grammarly and call it a day with the edits.
