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The Brown Noser

Shitty Irish Proverb Doesn’t Even Mention Wind At Your Back And Ground Beneath Your Feet

Published Friday, April 22nd, 2022

A shitty Irish proverb from the 4th century reportedly doesn’t mention the wind at your back or the ground beneath your feet.

“It’s pretty disappointing,” said Irish linguist Nancy Lublin. “This one says nothing about ten thousand yesterdays and ten thousand tomorrows, and doesn’t bother to mention Lady Luck, or Father Time, or Dame Fortune, or Saint Patrick.”

The proverb in question also showed a real lack of references to greener pastures, sunnier morrows, clefted hillocks, slender dales, treacherous mires, Da’s shillelagh, and dirt.

“If you’re not going to mention the gates of Heaven or the kindness of a perfect stranger, are you even an Irish proverb?” asked Lublin, getting worked up. “If you’re not going to mention that what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine, or that you should live as long as you want and never want as long as you live, or that the roof above you will never fall in and those gathered beneath it will never fall out, or some other fun word switcheroo like that, what’s even the point?”

At press time, a disappointing limerick didn’t even mention a bucket or Nantucket.

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