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Recent sources have reported that a single cloak forgotten on a table in the Sharpe Refectory has been perpetually saving the table since 1875.
“A jacket on the table calls dibs, everybody knows that,” said Tyrone Jackson, swerving away from the cloak left by Archibald Kensington III who graduated in the class of 1876 never knowing his misplaced garb would forever reserve the table in his name. “I’m not about to mess with a perfectly logical unspoken code, because the second you go to move it, that’s when the owner is going to reappear and it’ll be awkward for everybody.”
“I would be lying if I said I didn’t also use the same tactic. Sometimes you just find the perfect seat and you’ve got to make sure it’s still available after you get your food, and I get that,” continued Jackson, one of thousands of students who has failed to realize the wool robe was accidentally left on the table over a century prior and the owner is likely long dead and won’t be using that table. “Whoever left that cloak is probably at the salad bar or something. They’re definitely about to come back.”
“I’m not out here to make enemies over a table, okay!” added Jackson, as the Gilded Age coat decays after 149 years of being draped over the same chair, never getting touched or moved out of politeness. “Sure it’s a little annoying that someone can just claim ownership to a space for an indefinite amount of time through their articles of clothing, but it’s really not worth upsetting anyone.”
At press time, a single piece of toilet paper left floating in a toilet bowl renders the stall unusable since 1954.
