Sources close to the situation report that new freshman Harry Evans ‘23 has been persuaded to put his name on the knitting club Listserv by a single Tootsie Roll.
“I came to the Activities Fair hoping to find out more about a few clubs I’m interested in and then leave,” Evans reported. “But then I saw the Knitting Club had a dish full of Tootsie Rolls, and they offered one to me, completely free of charge. It was an opportunity I just couldn’t pass up.”
Evans states that he now regrets the decision.
“I keep asking myself if it was really worth it,” Evans said. “How was I so weak? I got ensnared by a single piece of candy that probably costs a fraction of a cent and now I get an email about knitting every single Thursday. I guess I deserve it for being swayed so easily.”
“I don’t know how to tell them to take me off because then they’d know I only signed up because I’m a complete pushover with a weak spot for chocolate,” Evans added.
At press time Evans was reported putting his name on the Fashion@Brown Listserv after being offered a package of Smarties at their first meeting.