Thursday, March 28, 2024
Partly Cloudy icon Partly Cloudy, 64°

The Brown Noser

Single Tootsie Roll All It Takes For Weak-Willed Freshman To Sign Up For Knitting Club Listserv

Published Friday, September 13th, 2019

Sources close to the situation report that new freshman Harry Evans ‘23 has been persuaded to put his name on the knitting club Listserv by a single Tootsie Roll.

“I came to the Activities Fair hoping to find out more about a few clubs I’m interested in and then leave,” Evans reported. “But then I saw the Knitting Club had a dish full of Tootsie Rolls, and they offered one to me, completely free of charge. It was an opportunity I just couldn’t pass up.”

Evans states that he now regrets the decision.

“I keep asking myself if it was really worth it,” Evans said. “How was I so weak? I got ensnared by a single piece of candy that probably costs a fraction of a cent and now I get an email about knitting every single Thursday. I guess I deserve it for being swayed so easily.”

“I don’t know how to tell them to take me off because then they’d know I only signed up because I’m a complete pushover with a weak spot for chocolate,” Evans added.

At press time Evans was reported putting his name on the Fashion@Brown Listserv after being offered a package of Smarties at their first meeting.

Article tools

Search The Brown Noser

  • Loading…