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The Brown Noser

Small Rock Fondled, Thrown

Published Friday, February 16th, 2024

In a moment of contemplative solitude, sophomore Charlie Dalton found a smooth, little rock and touched it for far too long before throwing it into the water.

“It was a nice rock,” said Dalton, who found the stone lying near the bank of a serene river. Feeling its smoothed ridges, he felt, “really in touch with nature.” The smoothed texture, a result of perhaps hundreds of years of erosion, captivated the mind of Dalton as he pondered his own past, present, and future. In what could amount to a symbolic gesture, he “just got the urge to toss it as hard as I could.”

At press time, Dalton was seen throwing tiny torn-up pieces of paper into a roaring fire.

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