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Sources report that the only regular participant in Brown Dining Services’ online surveys now owns 17 JBL Flip Speakers.
“I don’t mean to be unappreciative. When I won my first speaker, I was actually really happy. They’re loud, waterproof, and portable. It’s great,” clarified Carly Johnson ‘26 as she connected her phone to one of the 17 speakers to demonstrate their capabilities. “I guess no one else bothers to sign up for these because I just kept winning.”
“I only wish they would diversify and give something different for once. I just don’t really know what to do with all of these. Where am I supposed to keep them?” asked Johnson as she peeked out from over a tower of speakers. “I just love filling out surveys. I never really cared about the prizes, but now it’s gotten a little out of hand.”
At press time, Carly was throwing a rager with all 17 speakers linked to each other.
