Partly Cloudy, 64°
Sophomore Katie Ellison admits it’s kinda weird seeing Ezra in her English seminar after sharing the same excrement bucket during their BOLT hiking trip.
“I mean, I just can’t wrap my head around it!” exclaimed Ellison, disoriented hearing Ezra speak so eloquently about the symbolism behind Orwell’s Animal Farm after literally going number two in the same bucket as him for all of last week. “Like who knew Ezra could be so academic and put together? Whenever I picture Ezra, I’ll always think of him as the guy who should shit in the same bucket as me during BOLT.”
“I wonder if Ezra is embarrassed being in the same class as me,” questioned Ellison, keenly aware that she’s the only one in the room who knows the havoc the freeze-dried beef chili wreaked on Ezra’s bowels on night 3 of BOLT. “But honestly, however weird this is, I know Ezra and I are bonded for life. I mean, you know what they say, friends who learn the 9 D’s of Defecation together, stay together!”
At press time, the Professor’s suggestion to picture the class in their underwear while giving their persuasive speeches was super easy for Katie.
