Sunday, December 17, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Spider Gonna Have To Crawl Into Someone’s Mouth Tonight To Meet Yearly Quota

Published Friday, December 1st, 2017

Sighing and explaining this is just how the job works, a local spider reports that it’s going to have to crawl into local man Mike Lo’s sleeping mouth tonight in order to meet the yearly quota. “You know the deal: eight a year,” said the spider, checking Lo’s records. “This guy’s only swallowed seven spiders in his sleep in the last twelve months so he’s due for another ASAP. It looks like I’m just gonna have to take one for the team and crawl in there so we can meet this deadline.” At press time, another spider was seen quickly backtracking out of a local woman’s mouth after learning she’d already swallowed her eight for the year.

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