Washing off all the fake blood from his tractor, local farmer Evan Lawrence, began the process of turning his spooky corn maze back into a dumb little cornfield. “Halloween season’s over so it’s back to life as usual,” lamented Lawrence as he took down the 10 extra scarecrows he had put up to scare visitors. “My favorite part about this year’s maze was that, from the sky, it made my property look like a smiling jack o’ lantern. Now, it’s just gonna look like one boring, green square again. There’s no whimsy or creativity in that.” At press time, Lawrence was bitterly filling up all the intricate paths he had spent the year designing with more corn.

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