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With the arrival of spring, it has been predicted that cool guys who like to wear shorts when it’s cold will now start walking around fully naked again. “What? It’s not even cold,” said fully naked sophomore Jack Wilson. “Why would I wear shorts and a shirt and flip flops if it’s not even cold out? That’s wintertime attire. What sense would it make to wear winter clothes in the summer? You wouldn’t see a skier wearing a thong on the slopes, that would be crazy. You’d see them in board shorts and a tank top like a normal person.” At press time, a naked Wilson was seen asking strangers on the green if they’d like to play spike ball with him.
