Local hunky-monkey Bradly Haverford has made a formal request that Noser staff desist from using headlines to hit on him, the paper has been informed.
“At first it was kind of nice, I guess?” said Haverford huskily, effortlessly brushing a slightly curled lock of sandy-blond hair from the path of his emerald gaze, “but after the sixth or seventh mention it started to get a little creepy.”
Haverford is reported to be 6’2 and when last seen has an incredible chest a butt to match. He is also a sensitive, down-to-earth guy who is so funny when you give him the chance.
A star track member who can of course play “About a Girl” on guitar really well, Haverford initially drew the attention of this Noser reporter when taking his jacket off to keep a girl warm outside the Sci-Li, an act revealing both his kind, caring nature, and his incredible athletic body.
“I have no idea why they’re picking on me. I’m nothing special,” said Haverford, who totally is.