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The Brown Noser

Strong Female Lead Wears Leather Jacket, Has Trust Issues

Published Friday, March 6th, 2015

Lauded by critics as a groundbreaking anti-heroine, sources confirmed yesterday that the female protagonist in new drama “Aurelius Is Burning” wears a leather jacket and has trust issues.

“She’s clever, cold, and despises men,” reports A.O. Scott of the New York Times. “Margot Rax is a wonderfully complex character whose fierce autonomy is eventually overpowered by her need to be loved. Director and screenplay writer David Fincher has once again proved the impossibility of unravelling the mystery that is woman.”

The character of Margot Rax, a 5’10” boxer recruited by the CIA, is reported to have long hair that whips around when she turns to glare at men marked as her enemies. “Some days she wears leather, some days she doesn’t”, Scott added.

“As she becomes a fully realized woman, Rax learns to negotiate her innate femininity with her merciless, masculine drive,” Fincher told reporters when asked how he dealt with public pressure to write a three-dimensional woman. “I created Rax because we need more women like her. I look forward to the day when more men decide to write powerful female leads into big budget films.”

Critics expect an Oscar nomination for Alexandra McCracken, the breakout actress admired for her pioneering performance as a violent woman who distrusts authority and prefers emotionless sex.

“Margot is more comfortable shooting a perp in the face than giving a hug,” McCracken told Vogue Magazine, adding that Rax’s eventual affair with the married male lead is what allows her to accept her dead father’s abuse and abandonment. “As a young woman in Hollywood, I feel lucky to be given such a complicated role and thankful that Fincher chose me over Emma Stone.”

At press time, men across the country illegally downloaded “Aurelius Is Burning” to watch McCracken’s nude sex scene while Fincher simply did so from the open file on his laptop.

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