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Local Student, Felipe Parola, is reportedly extremely excited to return home and spend six weeks as the worst version of himself.
“Wow, this semester has been too long. I need to take a huge break before I can even look at Canvas again,” said Parola, about to return home and start playing Fortnite again, sleep till 4pm, and not think a single thought. “Break can’t come soon enough, I need to get out of here.”
Three weeks into break, Parola was reportedly seen molded into his couch, considering texting his high school ex girlfriend.
“Break is slipping by so quickly,” said Parola, who has only eaten Trader Joe’s frozen meals for weeks straight. “I’m going to be so busy when I get back, I really need to take advantage of this time at home.”
At press time Parola is going to continue this pattern well into his 30’s.
