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Calling it an “absolutely essential” part of his morning routine, Josh Runderman ’18 spent several minutes this weekend excitedly explaining the heartbreaking little breakfast routine he repeats every morning before class.
At a party on Saturday night, Runderman walked a group of friends through every step of the ritual, seemingly under the impression that it would make an interesting topic of conversation.
“I usually roll into the Ratty between 9:05 and 9:10,” Runderman said, referencing the fact that he arrives at the dining hall a full hour and a half before his 10:30 seminar to eat by himself.
Runderman said he always heads straight to the omelette station at the other end of the dining hall, passing by the pre-cooked egg tray and the cereal bar. There he waits in line for between 5 and 10 minutes while he pretends not to overhear athletes talking to each other.
“Once I give my order sheet to Gloria — or to Shannon if it’s a Thursday — I head over to the bread station and start my English muffin,” Runderman said, as another group of partygoers behind him decided to take shots.
Runderman went on to explain the intricacies of toasting his bread just right, including preferences for which number to run the toaster at and which of the two toasters to put the pats of butter on so they will melt and become spreadable.
“By the time the English muffin is done, my omelette is usually ready,” said Runderman cheerfully.
Runderman said he then picks up his omelette and grabs a copy of the New York Times on his way to his table, where he proceeds to skim a couple pages of headlines and fill out five or so clues in the crossword.
“Once I’m done with The Times, it’s usually time to head out, so I go ahead and leave for class,” Runderman said, taking a sip of his drink.
At press time, Runderman began talking about how he always scarfs down a sandwich in one bite for lunch and usually skips dinner.
