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The Brown Noser

Student From New York Thinks That Should About Do It For Their Personality

Published Friday, September 13th, 2019

Reflecting on his first few weeks at college, freshman Jonah Biller decided that, as far as a personality goes, being from New York should just about do it.

“During the icebreaking activities with my unit, I was wondering how I could make myself stand out,” Biller said, recounting his epiphany that being from New York provides everything he’d ever need in a personality. “Then I remembered—I’m from New York City! Who needs to build on that?”

Sources report that Biller leads every conversation with the fact that he’s from New York, saving him a lot of time and effort that would otherwise be spent fleshing out an original personality.

“It’s great,” Biller continued. “Other people have a hard time finding themselves in college, but I get off scot-free since I’ve made the city I’m from into my entire identity!”

“I can’t imagine having to hone a unique, personal brand that encompasses everything I stand for. It’s so nice to be practically exempt from all that soul-searching, solely because I happened to be born in New York City. And the best part? I had an immediate friend group here at Brown, just by finding the other New Yorkers!”

At press time, a student from Milwaukee was having no such luck.

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