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Reflecting on his first few weeks at college, freshman Jonah Biller decided that, as far as a personality goes, being from New York should just about do it.
“During the icebreaking activities with my unit, I was wondering how I could make myself stand out,” Biller said, recounting his epiphany that being from New York provides everything he’d ever need in a personality. “Then I remembered—I’m from New York City! Who needs to build on that?”
Sources report that Biller leads every conversation with the fact that he’s from New York, saving him a lot of time and effort that would otherwise be spent fleshing out an original personality.
“It’s great,” Biller continued. “Other people have a hard time finding themselves in college, but I get off scot-free since I’ve made the city I’m from into my entire identity!”
“I can’t imagine having to hone a unique, personal brand that encompasses everything I stand for. It’s so nice to be practically exempt from all that soul-searching, solely because I happened to be born in New York City. And the best part? I had an immediate friend group here at Brown, just by finding the other New Yorkers!”
At press time, a student from Milwaukee was having no such luck.
