Partly Cloudy, 64°
Last April, Jake Waltz ’13, like many of his Brown brethren, missed out on the Spring Weekend festivities due to the tumultuous ticket-purchasing process, an ordeal which some later have come to liken to a "game of Russian Roulette, only it's online, and, you know, it would be a good thing to get shot."
"It sucked, man,” recalled Waltz, in a phone interview prior to the start of his journey. “Biggest regret of my freshman year. Even worse than the second night of orientation, when some drunk girl barfed on me. Twice.”
Vowing that this year would be different, Waltz decided to “totally get the jump” on all the others who will inevitably desire tickets by getting in line “a little early.” “My mom was pretty cool with me spending my summer in Providence,” Waltz explained. “But she was super confused when I told her I’d have to take fall semester off.”
Although many students question Waltz’s endurance, Jake showed nothing but confidence that he would succeed in his endeavors. “What’s to worry about? I have my folding chair and my bag of pretzels. I brought a book just in case I get bored. Jeez, I hope I finish it by the time the ticket booth opens,” Waltz said. He added, “Plus, I’ll have an awesome tan by the time my friends come back in
September.”
