Sunday, December 17, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Student Given 50 Minutes to Solve Institutional Racism During Final

Published Friday, December 1st, 2017

Sources report freshman Jenny Mathews was relieved when she saw only one question on her Public Policy 440 final exam: How do you propose to solve institutional racism?

“I was expecting something like this,” Mathews confided, “and I think after three lectures per week over seven weeks given by a professor whose office hours I went to a few times, and after reading most of the assigned articles which in reality represent a little sample of the available literature on the subject through the perceptive of a very niche sub-category, I felt really prepared to solve institutional racism in a five-paragraph essay.”

“It was definitely the five-minute brainstorm right before the exam that allowed me to tackle this issue that no politician or theorist has ever been able to fully address.”

“I left the room feeling proud of my work,” continued Mathews, adding that this was an essay she would definitely attach as a three to five page writing sample on her next job application. “I truly believe that the 50 minutes I had were enough for me to address all the complexities of the issue in a way that satisfied the academic and intellectual standards of my professor, who has devoted their life to studying this topic, but still hasn’t come up with a satisfying answer.”

Her TA has yet to reduce her complex thinking into a grade, but Mathews is confident in her fresh and unique take on the issue which was mostly just long sentences filled with pretentious terms from the reading.

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