The Undergraduate Council of Students issued a statement at yesterday’s meeting praising the performance of University President Christina Paxson, as she concluded her first year of being an authority figure with a title and an ongoing corporeal existence. “I think we’re all very impressed with what Christina Paxson has done,” said UCS President Randy Miller. “It’s not just anyone who can be a president and also exist at the same time. That takes a certain kind of proactive can-do attitude that is very uniquely Paxsonian, as we like to say around UCS.” While Miller could not name an actual thing the president had accomplished beyond a large tuition hike and standard human activities like breathing and blinking, he did note that she was in fact the president.

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