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Much to the chagrin of fellow students, a recent report detailed one greedy student hoarding capped upper-level seminars like they were a miser sitting on jewels worth ten families’ fortunes.
“I fully intend to take all these classes,” explained Bart Hall, currently registered for a 6-person anthropology seminar, two English classes, and two 10-person biology classes despite not being an anthropology, english, nor biology major, much like how a scrooge might stash away gems galore that are worth more than a whole generation’s accumulated wealth. “And I can’t afford to have anyone taking my spot in them, no way.”
“It’s already difficult enough as is to register for classes,” continued Hall, who completely skipped the two English classes yesterday to shop the big lecture class he needed for his actual major, comparable to how a medieval penny pincher might hoard in his hidden chamber ancient wealth beyond what ten starving families could even dream of. “So having my spot secured in these seminars is a great relief because now I don’t have to worry about what classes to take, unlike some other students that I know.”
At press time, students were clustering at the front of the cafeteria line like they were peasants clamouring to get a glimpse of the King’s feet.
