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The Brown Noser

Student In Discussion Section Calling Books “The Text” Like Some Wizened Elder In A Dystopian Young Adult Novel

Published Friday, April 19th, 2019

According to classmates in senior Tony Collentro’s discussion section, Collentro has been calling books “the text” like some wizened elder in a dystopian young adult novel.

“He said ‘the text’ like he was referring to a huge, bound book with old, crinkly pages that’s kept in an underground, illegal library,” reported classmate Brie Lawrence, “But really he was just referring to the thin, paperback copy of Dubliners that we all ordered off of Amazon.”

“We were just talking about which parts of the book were our favorites,” said Lawrence. “There was no reason why he couldn’t just call the book ‘the book.’ But he kept referring to ‘the text’ like some 100-year-old wise man whose job it is to secretly chronicle the history of our community despite the efforts of the wealthy and violent ruling class to destroy all record of us.”

“It made me feel like I was part of society’s rebel group and I was caught up in a love triangle and Tony was trying to impart wisdom on me to prepare me for life in this cruel, dystopian society,” continued Lawrence.

“And the way he said it definitely made it seem like the words were capitalized.”

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