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The Brown Noser

Student Inadvertently Completes Ratty Challenge While Attempting To Find Open Table

Published Friday, April 20th, 2018

Explaining that he had no idea how much time was passing as he searched for a table, sophomore Brian Patel inadvertently completed the Ratty challenge on Thursday.

“I knew that I’d been doing laps for a while but I didn’t really start to think anything was out of the ordinary until it got dark outside,” Patel reported.

Sources report that Patel arrived promptly at 7:30 a.m. for breakfast but didn’t leave until he was kicked out by dining hall staff at 7:30 p.m., still wandering aimlessly through the dining hall with a plate of cold, twelve-hour-old pancakes in hand.

“There were a few tables with just one or two people at them but it would have been so awkward to ask to sit with them,” said Patel. "Now that I think about it, there was also one completely empty table. But somebody had left a dirty plate there so there was no way I was gonna sit there. I had fooled myself into thinking that i’d find a better table if I just did another lap.”

“It’s pretty normal for students to walk in one or two circles when looking for an open table,” explained one employee who was working the omelet station and saw Patel inadvertently complete the Ratty challenge. “But I started to wonder what was going on when Brian walked by me for the tenth or fifteenth time. He just kept walking in circles, looking more and more distressed with each passing. He was still going when my shift ended eight hours later.”

At press time, Patel was seen asking for a box.

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