Sources report that sophomore Brent Walker is really overselling his fascination with flightless dung beetles for free Kabob & Curry at department-sponsored seminar.
“When I saw the announcement in Today@Brown last week about this thrilling biology seminar, I practically collapsed out of excitement,” explained Walker, staring in awe at the mountain of chicken tikka masala on his plate. “Flightless dung beetles, or circellium bacchu as we biology connoisseurs call them, are just so spellbinding. Did you know that they rely on the feces of rhinos and buffalos as a source of sustenance? That is just so goddamn crazy to me!”
“Now I know it might be hard to imagine, but flightless dung beetles can actually roll objects up to fifty times their own weight. No joke!” continued Walker, now noshing on the copious amount of vegetable samosas he got hold of. “And to think these species are also environmentally friendly, helping to fertilize the soil as they roll around animal excrement – wow! Is there anything flightless dung beetles aren’t capable of?”
At press time, Walker was seen discussing the need to destroy the dung beetle’s habitat to build more oil rigs at a recent Chevron networking event in Flatbread.

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