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The Brown Noser

Student Really Patting Herself on Back For Showing The Smallest Amount Of Decency Toward Custodian

Published Friday, March 8th, 2019

After flashing a small smile to the custodian who regularly cleans her floor’s bathroom, sophomore Mae Solomon really patted herself on the back for showing that small amount of decency toward the custodian.

“Wow, I am so down-to-earth,” Solomon praised herself in her mind, ignoring the fact that she had no clue what the custodian’s name even was. “I bet no one else at this school has ever been so respectful and unpretentious.”

“I must have brightened her day,” said Solomon, who regularly leaves her trash strewn across the bathroom floor and doesn’t bother to pick it up. “Look at me, bridging the gap between students and staff.”

At press time, Solomon was on a real high after asking the custodian how she was.

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