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In a brave display of creativity and quick thinking, Ethan Dwyer ’17 has reportedly made something up on the spot to keep the conversation between himself and Becky Gower ’17 going.
Dwyer and Gower had been left alone by a mutual friend in the Sharpe Refectory. The pair exhausted the usual questions of residence on campus, hometown, relationship to said mutual friend, and concentration—they’re both undeclared—in 30 seconds flat. “Hey, did you hear they’re making a sequel to ‘Tommy Boy?’” asked Dwyer, desperate to save himself from an awkward silence.
Dwyer and Gower had previously attempted to probe for whether they had any other mutual friends, because Gower once visited family in a town 40 minutes away from where Dwyer went to high school. This proved unsuccessful, and complaints about the quality of the food did little to occupy the vast awkward silence they were faced with.
The fabricated tidbit proved a success, as Gower was both a fan of the film and completely unaware that its star, Chris Farley, has been dead for 16 years. Mentioning the completely non-existent plans to follow up to the 1995 hit comedy provided enough conversational fodder to keep the two students chatting until their friend returned and they were saved from further discussion.
Despite this strong showing, sources say that Dwyer is not finished yet. Experts claim that he needs to ensure that upon leaving the Ratty he doesn’t walk in the same direction as Gower.
