A job interview that began smoothly for Jonathan Van Rye '11 went awry earlier this week once the interviewer moved into a discussion of Mr. Van Rye's transcript.
"Everything was perfect," Van Rye recalled. "I was acing every question; I wasn't sweating; I remembered to say how much I loved working for low pay; and I only briefly had an erection, but I deftly covered it up with my hand. But then the guy started asking about grades, and I couldn't make any of it make sense."
The confusion began when the interviewer inquired as to whether "S" counted as an "A" or an "A-."
"That's when I told him we don't have plusses or minuses, and that it was roughly equivalent to an A, B or C," Van Rye said. "He kind of cocked his head to the side, like that look your dog gets after you've just said any English word. He didn't really understand how I could have three grades at once. And, at that moment, neither did I."
From there, the interviewer proceeded to ask why any student would take courses within his concentration without receiving grades for them. When informed that some courses were "required" to be taken S/NC, the interviewer grunted, shifted in his chair and made a mark on his paper that Every assumed indicated something negative.
"You never write on your notepad, 'It's so awesome that this student couldn't receive grades for important classes!'" Van Rye told the Noser.
"I am so fucked," he added.
From that point on, the situation only devolved further. At that time, the interviewer inquired as to whether or not Van Rye was the only student to take courses in this manner. When he replied that he was not, and that it was a common practice, the interviewer remarked "Brown is useless," and made another ambiguous scribble on his notepad. Van Rye then rambled on for what he estimated to be 10 minutes about the value of his education.
"I poured my heart into that interview from thereon out," Van Rye claimed. "I told him how S/NC courses enriched my learning through hands-on experience, how I didn't need grades to prove my worth and how I could receive a detailed grade report at any point from any of these classes."
When asked to produce any one of these grade reports, Van Rye sighed and admitted that he was bluffing and he didn't have any. "Nobody actually does that," Every meekly admitted. "Is that even a real policy? For sure?"
"I get the feeling I'm going to handle these things differently in the future," Van Rye asserted. "That guy was definitely just out to get me, right? I mean, S/NC is a totally legitimate option and really easy to understand. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go play Crash Bandicoot, but I'm going to turn off 'deaths' so that I have unlimited life and can't fail."