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Sources from inside PHIL 1576: Pornography claim that sophomore Gene Johnson is still fully clothed almost 15 minutes after the start of class.
“It’s really weird,” said Michael Acardi 29’, Johnson’s roommate and Pornography Studies concentrator. “Like we’re all here in our undies, or less, and Gene hasn’t even taken his socks off. We haven’t even seen a belly button, nothing. He’s really not participating in the immersive spirit of the class.”
“If Gene didn’t want to totally strip down in a Barus and Holley classroom, he really shouldn’t have taken this class,” Anderson continued butt naked. “It’s nothing that I, and my girlfriend, and my grandma on FaceTime that one time, haven’t seen before. And let me tell you, Gene has nothing to be shy about.”
“Pornography is a medium that is best studied in the nude,” said philosophy professor Anita Cassel, who appeared to be genuinely satisfied with how her career has panned out. “Gene’s choice to stay constricted by the shackles of textile threatens the uninhibited class culture that we’re working so hard to create. It’s just not right.”
At press time, Johnson still hasn’t put on an obnoxious smirk 15 minutes into Corporate Finance.
