Recent reports indicate jubilation from sophomore Alex McDougal, who had a paper pushed back six days due to a horrible and destructive event in his professor’s life.

“Let’s go dude,” McDougal texted enthusiastically to a classmate after their professor’s son was diagnosed with a debilitating chronic illness. “I hadn’t even started! LFGGGGGG no classss!!!!!!!!!”

“I’m struggling to find the motivation to keep going,” said Professor Herbert Zeigler, who had to take multiple days off in order to care for his son and recover from the shocking news. “I just hope my students are sympathetic and understanding. I know their chief concern is my well-being.”

At press time, several students had already emailed asking for another extension.

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