Sunday, December 17, 2017
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The Brown Noser

Student Who Thrives Off Chaos Places Small Plate On Top Of Stack Of Regular Plates In Ratty Plate Bins

Published Friday, December 1st, 2017

Sources report that sophomore Brent Shell must get off on creating chaos after he placed his small plate on top of the stack of regular plates in the Ratty plate bins, paying no attention to the obvious system in place.

“He’s an agent of chaos,” said Lily Bell, the student immediately behind Shell in the line to clear plates. “Bowls go with bowls, small plates go with small plates, and big plates go with big plates. It’s such a simple design. He must have messed it up on purpose just to see what kind of havoc he could create.”

Sources report that the students behind Shell in line were completely confused as to where to put their own plates and eventually chose to put them in the bins on the other side.

“We couldn’t put any more plates on top!” explained Bell. “Once a small plate is on the stack, there’s no way you can keep stacking big plates. It’s unstable. Brent just had to go and throw everything off. How could he have not seen the two slightly shorter stacks of small plates next to the one of big plates? How could he have not picked up on the pattern? It had to be intentional. He’s a sadist.”

At press time, Shell was seen leaving the Ratty through the entrance doors.

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