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A recent study conducted by the School of Criminal Justice at Rutgers University found that 80% of American cops are motivated in their work by the death of their first love at the hands of a criminal mastermind.
The study, which surveyed thousands of police officers from precincts across the country, asked officers to indicate what influenced their decision to enter and remain in the profession. A majority indicated that they were driven solely by anguish over the senseless murder of their lover in the prime of her or his youth by a villainous crime kingpin.
“Cops in the United States are monomaniacal in their desire to infiltrate particular criminal organizations so to enact revenge against the crime lord who perpetrated violence against their romantic partner,” said Criminologist Peter Thomas, who authored the report, adding that 3 in 4 cops reportedly spend all their time tracking down a particular evildoer using a series of photographs tacked to the wall with lines drawn to connect them. “Most spend their entire careers doing this, and a majority eventually kill that crimelord in a gunfight and get a parade.”
“Her name was Francine,” said cop Peter Tennyson, unprompted. “She was the best goddam woman I’d ever known.”
The study also found that the other 20% of cops were just motivated by racism.
