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In what some sources are calling an “obvious finding”, a new study by the University of Rhode Island shows that loud motorcyclists riding on Thayer Street are actually the coolest people in Providence, RI. The extensive panel data, which was collected over a twelve-year period, concluded that over 85% of Providence residents thought that the motorcyclists were even cooler than those cars with the windows rolled down while blasting the radio.
Although reportedly none are surprised by the conclusions drawn, sources state that the public is glad that empirical evidence is finally here to conclude that the motorcyclists on Thayer are awesome, especially those riding the weird three-wheeled ones that kind of look like the Bat-mobile.
“Honestly, this has been a long time coming,” stated local restaurant manager Maxwell Leeds. “Every month, when I look at what keeps my business so strong, I think I have to give it to the motorcyclists for attracting so many people to these streets. I have to say, even I get chills whenever they put on their Oakley sunglasses and rev their engines really loud even when they’re not planning to go anywhere.”
“You know, for us it’s really about giving back to the community,” stated long-time motorcyclist Bobby Randall, as he twisted the throttle four times. “We just love the people on Thayer and want them to know we care, and that we will never stop being the kings of these streets. Whether it’s 2pm or 2am, we’re revving those engines real loud.”
“Yee haw,” Randall added.
Randall then paused, spit out some chewing tobacco onto the pavement, and put on a Metallica hat before riding off into the sunset.
