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The Brown Noser

Superhero With Gun Really Upstaging Rest Of Superteam

Published Friday, March 12th, 2021

Helpless bystanders reported Thursday that Glock Brandish, a superhero whose power is using a gun, is really upstaging the rest of his superteam.

“The Necronomic Order has been terrorizing New Metropolis for months now, and the Anointed Gauntlet superteam keeps coming to our city’s defense,” commented citizen and terrified bystander Philip Spacek as he glanced nervously between surrounding skyscrapers. “But Glock Brandish has really been doing the lion’s share of the saving. There’s usually not even a chance for villains to give nasty monologues or set up elaborate hostage situations because Glock just pulls out his gun and kills them.”

“It’s really nice to have the Anointed Gauntlet protecting our city, but I kinda wish I could see the rest of the team in action,” Spacek continued. “There’s a woman who floats around in a glowing purple orb, and I don’t even know what her name is or what she does. But whatever it is, it’s probably a little more exciting than Glock demonstrating his marksmanship skills on Necronomic Order peons.”

“If we have to be constantly terrorized by the forces of evil, I at least want to find out what the rest of the Anointed Gauntlet can do,” Spacek explained, kicking at empty bullet casings on the pavement. “I’m sure the guy with six arms who’s made of red goop and the half-bear, half-gorilla person would love to get in on the action, rather than just watching Glock Brandish spend less than a minute shooting villains every time.”

At press time, Glock Brandish fled the city to confront his nemesis Target Man after seeing a glowing gun projected in the sky.

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