Sources report that area man Kenneth Gruber wrangled a piece of sushi into his mouth Thursday evening. “It was a big shrimp tempura roll, so I really had to finagle it to get it down the hatch,” said Gruber, describing how he contorted his face and labored to twist the roll around with his chopsticks in order to make it fit into his straining mouth. “It took some work to get that thing in, but after wrestling with it for a few seconds I managed to cram it into my piehole. It was a real tussle, I’ll tell you that.” At press time, Gruber was scuffling with a slippery piece of sashimi.

Article tools

• Print
• Email
• Tweet