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In recent news, talented whistler Ally Kattner is hated by everybody.
“I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!” lamented Claire Rosen, Kattner’s roommate who had wads of cotton jammed in her ears. “Every single morning, I’m jolted awake by her harmonizing with the songbirds outside. Then, all throughout the day, I suffer from her incessant, piercing whistle flawlessly reciting Clair de Lune!”
“I just wish she was talented at something slightly less damaging to my eardrums!” Continued Rosen, who was now wearing noise-canceling headphones over her cotton-stuffed ears. “I hear her all the time. I was walking down the Main Green and heard a shrill, immaculate whistling rendition of Für Elise; I immediately knew Ally was nearby.”
At press time, an untalented whistler was hated even more.
