Wednesday, December 19, 2018
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The Brown Noser

Tensions From Winter Break Ever-Present in Mom’s Passive Aggressive Texts

Published Friday, March 9th, 2018

Checking her phone and finding seven passive-aggressive texts from her mother, Jessica Moore ’19 reported that the tensions between she and her mom from winter break would not be easily forgotten. She went on to say that this has been happening ever since she ignored her mom while hanging out with friends over winter break.

“Hope your flight went well. Don’t forget to use the cellphone plan I pay for,” read one message. “Are your friends happy to have you back? They should be since you hang out with them so much.” said another. “Excited to see a lot of you over spring break,” went a third.

Hoping that chapter in her life was closed, Moore was surprised and upset to continue receiving passive aggressive texts throughout shopping period, and even after. “This is obviously about that time I went over to Simon’s house instead of staying for family dinner—I mean, I wish she would just say it!”

Sources within the family report Moore has been obsessively checking her debit card balance. “She said, ‘I hope grocery shopping with my credit card went well.’ When will the other shoe drop? When will she finally take the actions she’s been hinting at since break!”

At press time, Moore was engaged in no less than six passive aggressive conversations, including with her mother, her sister, and the friends who started the whole mess. Everyone was doing fine.

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