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The Brown Noser

The Basketball Going Into The Hoop And Passing Through The Net Is A Metaphor For Conception And Birth by LeBron James

Published Friday, March 15th, 2024

In my 21-year career at the top of the NBA, I can say that I’ve done it all. 40,000 points, four championships, and a story that people will be telling for years to come. But before my career comes to an end, before I hang up the shoes and bid farewell to the hardwood, I’d like to impart a little wisdom on you all: The basketball going through the hoop and passing through the net is a metaphor for conception and birth.

You see, it’s all a larger metaphor for life, really. When the game begins, the player is spawned into existence. When I step onto the court, I cease to be LeBron James; instead, I am in control of the entity known as #23. Every player on the court has one objective: put the ball in the hoop. As #23 is his own being, his objective in game can be stated as their life objective. Therefore, the single, biological drive in #23’s life is to put the ball in the hoop. As evolutionary science tells you, every biological being’s end goal is to reproduce, to conceptualize a new life and ensure its birth. It is no different on the court.

The ball, as lifeless and bouncy as it seems, is in truth a life-delivering apparatus. A seed. And the hoop? Why, fertile soil teeming with the potential of life, of course! The ball and hoop, the seed and womb, are therefore locked in an eternal partnership. A ball without a hoop is impotent, and a hoop without a ball can produce no points. The rules of basketball make it clear that there is no alternative; points, and by extension, life, must be created through this reunion of ball and basket. Therefore, when #23 shoots the ball, he is doing far more than merely attempting to score a point; he is trying to create life.

This leaves us with one final, unresolved question: What does it all mean? I believe the answer may be different for all of us. I believe the answer may even be different between the #kidfromAKRON and the being who wears #23 on the court. I offer my perspective only to speak my truth. I believe Dr. Naismith created this game, invented this elaborate metaphor, to simulate life. Or perhaps to critique it. Perhaps this was all an effort to take the biological driver of our lives and trivialize it into a game. Regardless of your interpretation, I think one thing is clear: Ball is life.

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