Sunday, October 25, 2020
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The Brown Noser

The Nation Must Prioritize The Opening Of Indoor Trampoline Parks by The Kid You Babysit

Published Friday, September 25th, 2020

COVID-19 has disrupted the lives of all Americans, but has arguably affected no group as much as our nation’s children. And I should know: I am one of them. At an age where socializing is crucial to our development, the toll of this virus on my generation may have lifelong consequences. As such, it is vital that America uphold a sense of normalcy, unity, and bouncy fun for us children in this frightening time.

The nation must prioritize the opening of indoor trampoline parks. And, moreover, you should take me to one.

Across the country, trampoline park after trampoline park has had to shut their doors, with some parks closing permanently: foam pits forever silent. With summer camps, play dates, and even schools being forced to transition to their online facsimiles, kids have had to grapple with a new reality many of us cannot comprehend. Reopening indoor trampoline parks creates opportunity to invest in the well-being and future of America’s greatest asset: our children. And taking me, a child, to one would represent the type of bold, direct action citizens should be taking.

Studies have shown that children are far less likely to contract or spread COVID-19. I know this is not the case for adults, however, and if parents and babysitters are forced to wait outside while trampoline parks become kids-only zones, this is an adjustment I would be willing to make. As responsible American kids, you can trust us to obey any posted no-pushing rules.

Look, you know me. I am a reasonable kid. I eat my carrot sticks, I don’t fight with my sister, I don’t even tell my parents that I see you hit your Juul through your sleeve. But there is an open trampoline park only 2 hours away and all that can change if you don’t take me there.

My trampoline activism may seem self-serving, but trust me: it’s in all of our best interests. It’s time for the nation to bounce back.

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