Partly Cloudy, 64°
Everyone drop everything! Drop everything right now. It’s finally happened. Clean out your desks, people. Update your resumes. We’ve had a good run, but it’s over. The NRA is headed for the history books.
The president of the University is initiating a campuswide discussion on the response to the Newtown shootings.
We are so fucked.
Denunciations of our pro-gun agenda, we could’ve handled. Clearly stated positions? No problem. Petitions, rallies, calls for specific gun control legislation—laughable! We were ready, we were prepared. But now? Christina Paxson is going to “plan a series of forums this spring.”
Forums! Our one weakness!
This is how it starts, gentlemen. First it’s a nonbinding discussion with a few administrators and half a dozen students at a liberal arts college. Then it’s an article in the campus newspaper. Before you know it, a university president is calling on Congress to engage in serious study on the issue, and it’s goodbye NRA.
Sure, maybe we can hold out for a few more days. She says there’s going to be a “period of reflection” first. But the minute that reflection is over? Wham bang. We are through. We’re going to be hit by a 5000-ton train of pure ad hoc committee.
This woman is playing with fire. She is toying with forces she couldn’t possibly understand. Dialogue? Conversation? These can bring down empires. We are talking about a president with the sheer moral courage to call for nonbinding analysis grounded in facts. We are dealing with a madwoman.
Remember when Amherst held a series of readings and conversations about racism? Boom, no more racism. Amherst’s panel on the deficit? Boom, massive surplus. I still have nightmares about how Oberlin’s panel on climate change resulted in the immediate implementation of a comprehensive carbon tax. Because if history teaches us anything, it’s that endless discussion unaccompanied by direct action is a force no mere multimillion-dollar lobby can withstand.
Perhaps we’re overreacting here. I mean, after all, it’s just a discussion. She hasn’t actually said anything of substance about the issue, or expressed any inclination to actually do something about it. Frankly, it almost seems like this whole thing could come and go with zero impact on actual gun policy—
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on. There’s an update coming in. My sources are telling me…my God.
The Janus Forum is going to be involved.
Judgment Day, gentlemen.
