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The Brown Noser

This Year’s Rec Soccer Team Is Stacked, Tommy Reports

Published Friday, November 4th, 2016

After seeing this year’s rec soccer team roster, sixth grader Tommy Hurley was pleased to announce that his team, The Sharks, is stacked. According to Tommy, it’s kind of sad that whatever team plays The Sharks each weekend has to drive to the fields just to get wrecked.

“Sean and Richie are both on our team and that’s almost unfair since each have been playing club for like two years now,” Tommy explained to his parents on the drive to the season’s first practice. “Joey will probably be our goalie. His mom bought him special goalie gloves this year. The ones where the fronts are kind of sticky so you can really grab the ball. So nothing’s gonna get past him.”

Although some kids think David’s team, The Tigers, are the team to beat, Tommy was quick to point out that The Tigers were only going to be coached by David’s dad while The Sharks would be coached by two boys on the high school JV team which gave The Sharks a distinct advantage.

“Honestly, David’s team was only good last year because they had Liam who can head the ball without flinching,” said Tommy, adding that he once saw Liam almost do a rainbow. “But he’s on our team this year! We’re pretty much unstoppable.”

“And we’ve already decided we’re all going to buy matching soccer socks,” he announced, writing his initials on his plastic water bottle so he wouldn’t get it confused with anyone else’s. “Two different colored pairs so we can alternate every other weekend.”

At press time, The Sharks began conditioning for the season with a game of sharks and minnows.

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