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Sources report that the magnitude of crisis required for reputed outdoorsman Todd Grimes to suggest consuming his own urine is suspiciously low.
“There was really no need at all,” complained fellow explorer Ridge Carson, recounting an incident where Grimes suggested urine consumption barely an hour into a leisurely trail walk. “We were a maximum of ten minutes from the nearest town—and that’s if you’re walking slowly!”
“I can’t tell if he enjoys all pee or just his own. Also, did he find out before or after he decided to do this for a living?” asked Carson as he glanced at Grimes skeptically. “Now that I think about it, I’ve never even seen him carry water on an expedition.”
“Hydration is key, and one must always be ready. You have no idea what mother nature could throw at you,” asserted Grimes while gulping down concerningly yellow liquid from a bottle labeled “Water.” “The only way to survive out in the great outdoors is to swallow your pride. And occasionally your piss.”
At press time, Grimes was a bit too quick to suggest slaughtering his horse for impromptu shelter.
