Freshman Alan Lickman reports that the latest ‘Today@Brown’ email is offering a merciless reminder that his problem set is not going smoothly. “Once I got the newsletter, which featured Brown Compost Club, a LinkedIn workshop, and Brown Aerial Arts tryouts, I realized I was pretty screwed,” Lickman lamented as he scanned the well-formatted digest that materialized in his inbox at 1:09 AM, cruelly signaling that his struggle through the multivariable calculus homework was now entering perilous territory. “The alert made me remember the vibrancy of Brown’s campus life, but also that I have a hair-biting 8 hours 51 minutes before I have to hand this in.” As of press time, chirping birds were melodically informing Lickman that he was now ‘absolutely fucked.’

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