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The Brown Noser

Tour Guide Getting Paid To Say Good Things About Brown Has Only Good Things To Say

Published Friday, May 12th, 2023

Sources report that a tour guide getting paid to say good things about Brown has only good things to say.

“What can I say, this is a great school!” says tour guide Becca Platt, ‘24, while logging her tour hours in Workday to make bank. “All I’ve got is praise for this wonderful institution!”

“This is as authentic as it gets! These students deserve to know about our stressless finals and lively party scene,” Platt continued, reviewing her latest fat paycheck. “Brown really has a lot to offer.”

At press time, Spring Weekend artists perform at Brown because of prestige and not the five-figure paycheck.

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