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The Brown Noser

Trader Joe's Going To Gentrify Community, Claims Student At Whole Foods

Published Monday, October 31st, 2022

From inside a Whole Foods, junior Maria Mather claimed that Trader Joe’s is going to gentrify the local community.
“It’s going to seriously drive up prop- erty values,” said Mather, inside a Whole Foods that used to be a local antique shop and a mom-and-pop grocery store. “I guess some students just don’t care about
the impact of their needs on the larger community.”
“What’s so special about a store like Trader Joe’s, anyway?” Mather asked, purchasing all of her ingredients from Whole Foods’s uniform 365 brand. “It completely erases the area’s unique cul- ture and relationship to food products.”
At press time, Mather was heard boy- cotting the Amazon Alexa by talking into a Google Nest.

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